I Want a not STRAIGHT answer

Wham Rap! (Enjoy What You Do) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This is how the story goes. The whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me Ellen DeGeneres. Mid evening I had found my foot submerged in a flavorful pungent punch…Blueberry Twisted Tea. Had I planned for this to happen? Most likely not but my body and mind move under the guise of freak powers. From the sticky an unclean feeling to the moment I felt stuck to a cooler floor. OCD and paranoia in overdrive…’oh, shit, so this is how I’m gonna die…smelling like a brewery and twelve years sober just trying to make a living…’
Always not a opptomist but the alignment of tomfoolery and shifts of shenanigans being what they were. I remained positive. Thinking, hey, whatever happened to Fats Domino and Chuck Berry and what about learning to do the twist…that was fun..
“let’s twist again like we did last summer…let’s twist again like we did last year.”  Or, ‘I found my thrills on Blueberry Hill‘.
I had warm fussy thoughts of watching my mother provide kindness via the oldies station and dancing her way around the kitchen floor. Twisting and singing. Singing and twisting.
Then like being found in a rest room in the middle of a lewd act…George Michael‘s I Will Be Your Father Figure accosted and raped my sense of musical taste! The Jesus…stop wearing Sandals…blueberry soaked sandal ordeal left my pea brain quickly and rearranged itself into this thought:
What exactly does that song mean?
That’s All I Wanted
Something special, something sacred -
In your eyes
For just one moment
To be bold and naked
At your side
My father and I are close yet…I do not believe either one of us would like to be bold as a newborn baby in each other’s arms…

Wham Careless Whisper (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sometimes i think that you’ll never
Understand me
Maybe this time is forever..
Say it can be
Okay, I have to agree there, no I didn’t and still don’t believe my father will fully understand my freakishly weird behavior. And, yes, I do believe that at this stage in our adult child/elderly parent game…that statement will last forever.

(baby)
I will be your father figure
(oh baby)
Put your tiny hand in mine
(i’d love to)
I will be your preacher teacher
(be your daddy)
Anything you have in mind
(it would make me)
I will be your father figure
(very happy)
I have had enough of crime
(please let me)
I will be the one who loves you -
Until the end of time
I tend to go on and on when awe-struck by adults who believe that songs with a good beat do not need to have subsequently…good lyrics.
My hand is bigger than my father’s now. His have grown small from arthritis most likely incurred while spanking my white ass in the 70′s and 80′s. Usually a discipline I deserved but fought ever inch of the way.
Is that a crime? Now a days, yes. Back when LP’s were spun…the threat of ‘you wait ’til your father gets home’ meant an ass whoppin’.  A crime?  No, just a miscarriage of parental justice.

If you are the desert
I’ll be the sea
If you ever hunger -
Hunger for me
Whatever you ask for
That’s what i’ll be. .

So when you remember the ones who have lied
Who said that they cared
But then laughed as you cried
Beautiful darling
Don’t think of me

English: A frisbee made by Wham-O. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What is this desert and sea crap? Growing up in my family there was no poetry. Just a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning.
The last stanza does intrigue me. George must have had the same older brother and sister I did! They lied constantly about my drinking and obsession with matches. Daily laughing at my expense because the Wizard of Oz had been on the tube and I hid from that nasty ass bitch with a big nose.
I did my usual amount of bullshit research on George. And, my gut instincts were correct. As they always are fifty percent of the time. He has no children and his father and him do not speak very often. I suppose the song could have been a cry for help. Honestly though I’m no fool…George is was up to no good before he came out of the closet. Those damn homosexuals had nothing to do with his weirdness…it had been that unruly lot…the heterosexuals!