How to Make an Ass-Whole

leave the bullshit for the youngsters…we should be glad we get along

The rain has been so constant in life as of late seems like a suicidal tendency kind of season.  It seems odd that on those disparagingly dark and humid, lackluster and starless nights, past acquisitions of romance come up like a poorly placed half eaten burrito.

I suck at relationships.  I really do.  I have the distinct capability of speaking my mind and not awaiting  a response to how other’s feel about my new opinion.

My last love or last enduring endeavor with co-dependency preferred me drunk.  Not so drunk that performance anxiety fell into question.  Yet, blissfully obtuse enough that I could be led around by the choke collar.  Sat when I was told to sit.  Begged when offered human kindness.  And, rolled over on command.

Not that it is important to know the depth of the madness that drove the train right off the track.  However,filling my Aquafina bottle with straight 150 proof Devil‘s Spring vodka and setting it just so…just so a stunningly stunted youthful drunk, such as myself, would mistake the cool refreshing bottle as a means in which to quench those midnight dry heaves and mouth filled with cotton ball remnants.

Maybe, it had been the time I had been left to my own devices on the 13th floor of the county jail, Asheville, N.C., abandoned until the long holiday weekend had ended.  Told via my well stacked and stocked black prison matron, ‘she said something about you needing to learn your lesson.’

Towards the end of that over a decade of being beaten by the slapstick of lesbian relationship’s magic wand; my suitcase never fully unpacked itself, it never really had been invited  back in from the garage and my status had been put on, permanent standby.

Live and learn or live and keep making vain attempts at understand women.

I had once been asked, ‘don’t you think you’re a little prejudice against women?’

I once remarked, ‘yup!’

I’m down here workin’ at my job
But I just can’t concentrate
You keep messin’ with my mind
Yeah, I’m circlin’ round the bait
I got to take off early
I got to get you home
Gonna show you little woman why a dog loves a bone

We’ll be gnawin’ on it
Yeah, gnawin’ on it
We be gnawin’ on it
Ah, nah, baby don’t do that

I dropped the kids at school this morning
Hung the clothes in the back
I’m trying to take care of my business
Nut my mind ain’t on the track
You got me feeling kind of squirrelly
I got to get you in this place,
‘Cause what I got in mind’ll put a grin on your face.

there is no such thing as an ass without a hole to make it complete.

We’ll be gnawin’ on it
Yeah, gnawin’ on it
We be gnawin’ on it
Ah, nah, baby don’t do that

They say it’s hard to keep it going
When you’re together for so long
They say combustion’s for the youngsters
We should be glad we get along
But they don’t know nothin’ ’bout it
They way you love me it’s a shame
‘Cause there ain’t nobody better
Blowin’ embers to a flame

We’ll be gnawin’ on it
Yeah, gnawin’ on it
We be gnawin’ on it